Saturday, December 5, 2015

eleven against the universe

by jeremy witherington

illustrations by penmarq studios

a dull gloomy morning.

the pale red sun glinted off the dome of the imperial city.

cinderella and snow white walked along the railroad tracks.

they came to a siding where an old rusty locomotive sat in the purple and green weeds.

cinderella pointed to it. "that looks like the prince of wales's old private locomotive."

" wasn't that the one that was later converted into a time machine by professor moriarty ?"

"maybe. i don't know," snow white answered. she looked around. "i'm sorry, i have to sit down."

there was a large petrified toadstool beside the tracks and snow white lowered herself on to it.

"ooohhh," she groaned.

snow white was twenty-eight months pregnant. she didn't know what with.

cinderella was only eleven months pregnant. she didn't know with what, either, but she was her usual perky upbeat self. she wandered around, looking for some rocks to throw at edward vii's private locomotive.

she found a smooth round stone and picked it up.

she started to turn around to throw it but she noticed something sticking up out of the ground where the smooth round stone had been.

it looked liked an enormous tooth.

like the fang of a werewolf or a vampire.


"you shouldn't do that."

"i'll do as i please, thank you very much."

"all right but don't say i didn't warn you."

cinderella knelt down in front of the fang and started pulling on it.

suddenly the earth began to shake.

"this must be the tooth of a dinosaur!" cried cinderella.

"what did i tell you?"

"but i can't stop now. when i start something i finish it."

cinderella kept pulling at the tooth.

suddenly she fell on her face.

the earth had stopped shaking and the tooth had disappeared back into the earth.

"i wonder what that was all about?"

"i don't know but i'm not going to worry about it." snow white looked off into the distance.

the pale red sun was starting to go down.

cinderella still felt restless. "i think something is going to happen."

"of course something is going to happen. something always happens, even if it's nothing."

"that's deep."

"thank you."

"i want to do something."

"well, do it. who's stopping you?"

"i'm going to try to start that locomotive up."

snow white looked over at the locomotive. "it's not on the tracks."

"so what? it should still move if i can start the engine."

"there probably isn't any coal in it."

"why do you always have to be so negative?"

"who's negative? go ahead, start it . just remember what happened the last time you tried to start up a time machine."

with her perky little nose in the air, cinderella walked over to the locomotive.

she had not realized that tree were so many thorns, and bugs, and nasty things, in the patch of weeds the locomotive was sitting in.

walter winchell was watching the girls on his screen in his room in one of pope alexander vi’s castles.

there was a price on walter’s’s head - a price the girls would be only too willing to collect.

pope alexander was a recovering zombie, and the furnishings of his castle reflected that.

walter lived in terror of being captured and returned to one of his former lives.

he had had encounters with cinderella before - usually to his disadvantage.

“did you say something, walter?”

darn it, thought walter, i am talking aloud to myself again.

walter turned and saw vlad the impeller standing behind him, with a slice of watermelon in one hand and a strawberry ice cream cone in the other.

“i guess i must have,” walter answered abjectly.

“well, what did you say?” vlad sat down on walter’s bed in the familiar day he had.

“um - i forget. it could not have been important.”

“nothing is important, walter, except to whoever it is important to. you know that.”

walter sighed. “i am not sure i want to go on.”

“of course you want to go on. there is nowhere else to go except on.”

to be continued?